Uchiha Naruto
by Etsure
Summary: Read the title. non-yaoi crackfic
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Prelude to Beginnings

This is the tale of a certain boy by the name of Uzumaki Naruto. He had blonde hair and bright blue eyes. On both sides of his face were three lines that resembled whiskers. He wore a white shirt and black pants; however, there were large amounts of leaves, dirt, grass stains on both items of clothing. In fact, the boy could have resembled a very dirty bush or something that had been dragged across three fields. This unfortunately, was true for the boy.

He had just endured a whole hour of getting tied up and then dragged across Konoha by three large boys. During the final minutes of his torture, one of the ropes had come loose and tied itself around the boy's neck. The rope tightened every second, the boy could barely breathe. He began to loose all feeling in his limbs and darkness began to obscure the boy's vision.

"This is it, I'm going to die." The boy thought. "At least I led a full life…"

_It's not supposed to end like this!_

Instantly, the boys had stopped dragging the boy and looked at him. "What the hell was that?" one had asked.

"I don't know, but I'm scared." The youngest of the boys squeaked.

"That demon kid can't have said that, the voice was too deep, too hateful…" the eldest then picked up his rope and almost began pulling again when the middle spoke up.

"Oh god! What if we awakened the demon that our parents said he was? He'll kill us all!" He then turned around and ran. Unbeknownst to him his foot had wrapped around his own rope and began pulling on the rope around Naruto's neck. The tension caused the running boy to trip and he then tried to crawl away from the demon child and, at the same time, tightened the rope again.

_NNNNOOOOO!_

The three boys looked back at Naruto only to see a ball of swirling orange charka. The charka dispersed and the demon child's nails and teeth had grown and were sharper. The three boys stared in horror as the transformed child began clawing and biting away at the ropes that bound him. What shocked the boys more was that the boy even clawed at his own skin to get the ropes off. Once the ropes were off, the boy stood up slowly with his eyes closed. He was covered in blood and large gashes covered his skin. He then turned his head towards the boys and opened his eyes. What the boys saw was enough to make them wet themselves. The young boy's eyes had changed from blue to a deep red with slits as pupils. He then began growling and slowly advanced on the boys. Their legs having failed them, the youngest of the three boys did the only thing that seemed rational at the time… he screamed.

The scream was then cut short as several kunai landed at the boys' and Naruto's feet. Naruto instantly changed back to his original form as a young boy the same age as Naruto with black eyes jumped from the trees and landed on his feet. He looked around at the three boys (the smell of urine was somehow present) and then he looked to Naruto. The first thing he noticed was the numerous cuts across the blonde boy's body and the kunai at his feet.

"Kruse!!" The boy yelled and ran to Naruto, "I'm sorry! I heard a scream and I threw my kunai at where the scream came from by mistake and-"

The boy then noticed that the cuts on the blonde were too large and too many to have been caused by his accidental throws. He stared at the blonde boy's cuts and then at the three older boys. "What the hell did you do to this kid?" he screamed at the boys.

"We didn't do anything!" the boy then glared at them, "Okay, so we might have dragged him behind us for an hour bu-"

The young boy then snapped. No wonder he was so scratched up. "You'll pay for this you bastards!" the boy yelled, "Now, feel the wrath of the Uchiha clan!" Both his eyes then changed from black to red; one eye was completely clear but the other had what looked like a comma mark around the pupil. The boys then wet themselves again not because of what happened to the younger boy's eyes but because they had heard of the famous Uchiha clan and what kind of fighters they were. They were not as afraid as they were when they faced Naruto and were able to pick themselves up and run away.

"Heh, they couldn't even hold out against me, Uchiha Sasuke, the strongest of the Uchiha clan!" Sasuke then struck what looked like the nice-guy pose to no one in particular (in his mind he was facing a camera).

Naruto sweat dropped and stared at the Uchiha boy. "…um I guess you saved me so, um, thank you."

Sasuke then stared at Naruto and said "No need for thanks fellow civilian, we people of Konoha need to look out for each other. By the way what's your name?"

"Uzumaki Naruto. And I'm guessing that you're-"

Naruto then fell to the ground and curled into a ball.

"Naruto-san! What's happening to you?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto then let out a groan as a small hissing sound could be heard. Sasuke looked at Naruto in disbelief. The cuts that covered Naruto's body were suddenly disappearing. A minute later, Naruto stood up and looked at his arms and legs. The skin was completely healed and no scars were present.

"Wow." Sasuke said in disbelief, "Do have a bloodline limit or something?"

"What's a bloodline limit?"

"It's like a special power that only members of your family can use."

Naruto then became silent "I don't have a family." He whispered.

"If you don't have a family, then where do you live?"

"I don't really live anywhere, I just find a spot to sleep and that's about it."

Sasuke then brightened up, "Well that won't do for a civilian with a bloodline limit like yours!" he then grabbed Naruto's wrist and began running while Naruto stumbled trying to keep his balance.

"Where are we going?" Naruto asked.

"We're going to my part of the town. You can live with my family, I'm sure they won't mind."

Naruto looked up in shock. No one had ever been so nice to him, let alone even consider helping him out of trouble. He was always treated with the most hatred because of something that he had no control over. Naruto asked others why he was hated but they just responded with a snide comment or threw something at him. Naruto then had tears running down his face as Sasuke pulled him along.

Throughout the trip all Naruto said was "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.", over and over again.

Within minutes, the two boys reached an archway decorated with red and white fans, Naruto believed that these were the Uchiha clan symbols. As they passed under the arch, two guards stared at Naruto awkwardly but dismissed their feelings when that saw that Sasuke was the one leading the blonde boy into the town. Naruto almost did a double-take when he saw what was in the town. Everyone there had either black or brown hair and each had the same coal colored eyes as Sasuke. The red and white fans were hung as banners over each house and store. Sasuke then turned a corner and headed towards a house that was directly in front of a small lake. Sasuke led Naruto to the front door and took off his sandals. Naruto quickly followed suit.

"Otou-san! (Dad) Okaa-san! (Mom) Itachi-onii-san! (Brother)" A woman who was drying a plate looked to see Sasuke and smiled (obviously, she was Sasuke's mom, Mikoto).

"Sasuke! I'm glad you're back from practice, dinner will be ready in a few minutes." she noticed Naruto and dropped the plate. "S-Sasuke! What is HE doing here?"

"This is my new friend Okaa-san, Uzumaki Naruto. He has a really cool bloodline limit that makes him heal really fast. I saved him from some bullies and now I brought him here to live with us." Sasuke looked like he had just saved the human race from a plague the way he smiled.

"Sasuke can I see you in the next room, _alone?_" she basically pulled Sasuke into an empty room by the ear and then closed the door.

"This doesn't look good." Thought Naruto, he could hear Sasuke's mom yelling at him.

Then Naruto turned around and nearly bumped into a large man with the same Uchiha eyes and black hair. Naruto could only assume that this was Sasuke's dad.

"Gomen, Uchiha-sama!" Naruto yelled a little louder than necessary.

"Well, well, well, what have we here? Another friend of Sasuke I presume?" said Fugaku. (That is actually his name, I think it's funny)

"Hai! We met today and Sasuke invited me over, Uchiha-sama"

The man then knelt down and looked Naruto in the eyes he noticed the whisker marks and said "I take it that you are Uzumaki Naruto, correct?"

"Hai."

"Hmm. Tell me, what do people do when they see you?" Naruto's eyes widened in fear of the memories that flashed through his mind, though his gaze never left the eyes of Sasuke's dad.

"T-they try to hurt me… they think that I did something terrible to their families and they blame me for things that I never did or aren't even capable of."

Concern flashed by Fugaku's eyes and he sighed "And have you ever gotten angry at them? Have you ever wanted to hurt the people who hurt you?"

"Never! I could never harm another human being from Konoha or any other village. I know that I should be mad, but when I look at them all I see is a person who lost something very important to them and they have no proper way of expressing themselves. For some reason they take it out on me. But I know that deep down they realize that I may not be the so-called demon child that they think I am. I'm just another person who was born here and I have the same needs as they do. Someday they'll realize that and then they can finally respect me."

"Well, that's pretty deep thinking for a seven year old."

"Um… some of it was told to me by the Hokage, Uchiha-sama."

"Ah, yes. The Hokage has told me quite a bit about you and your thirst for acceptance."

Mikoto then opened the door she was behind and pulled Sasuke out of the room. "Sasuke, I think you know what to say to our… guest."

"But, Okaa-san he needs a home! If he's out there people will try to hurt him again or worse!"

"Whoa there, Sasuke. What's this all about?" asked Sasuke's dad.

"Otou-san! Okaa-san thinks that Naruto shouldn't stay with us because he is dangerous! I think that the people out there are more of danger to him than he ever will be to them or us."

A moment of silence followed and then…

"I guess you're right, Sasuke. It is too dangerous for Naruto to be out there alone." He turned to look down at Naruto, "How would you like it if you stayed here?"

"R-really? I'd love to, Uchiha-sama!"

"Please, call me Otou-san."

Sasuke walked up to Naruto and said "See, I told you it would be okay with them." But Naruto wasn't listening; he was looking at the ground and visibly crying.

"Otou-san, arigatou! I am forever in your service! Should a job be needed to be done I'll be there. If you need a package to be delivered all the way to Snow country, I'll be there." He raised he head, "If someone threatens my new family they'll be sorry that they ever crossed Uzumaki Naruto. I will defend this clan with my life for you have shown me kindness!"

Sasuke's dad let out a laugh "Naruto relax we're inviting you into our home, not making you a slave or anything like that.

Naruto looked up and smiled "Gomen, Otou-san. I guess I got carried away a bit."

"Indeed." Sasuke's dad said as he stood up. "Sasuke, since dinner's almost ready, would you go and get your brother?"

"Hai. C'mon Naruto, I'll introduce you to Itachi-nii-san."

Naruto followed Sasuke down a hallway to a door that said DO NOT DISTURB. Sasuke ignored the sign and walked into the room. Naruto felt like he had stepped into a cave. The room was pitch black and had no windows. Suddenly a young teen (twelve to be exact) stepped from the shadows. He wore a black cloak with red clouds in various places. His hair was spiked at the back of his head and he had an I-don't-give-a-damn-about-you-or-myself attitude around him. "Why have you stepped into my inner sanctum?" he asked.

Naruto was confused and a little freaked out. Sasuke simply said "Otou-san said that dinner's almost ready so you'd better come soon."

Itachi looked at his younger brother and gave a very faint smile/smirk. "Sasuke, how did your practice go today?"

"Well… I almost killed a few people, bu-"

"A _few_ people? As in more than one? Well, I'm impressed Sasuke, you almost ridded this corrupted world of more useless souls. They probably would have grown up and got jobs that would kill this planet more than it is already…" Itachi then went on to ramble more on how the world was shot to hell and the humans were the ones who fired the gun.

"They're still alive you know, I said I almost killed them." Sasuke said.

Naruto whispered to Sasuke "Is he always like this?"

"Yeah, Otou-san says it's because of that group Akatsuki that he joined a month back. But, he's a genius ninja so saving lives comes before end of the world stuff."

Itachi almost lectured Sasuke about interrupting him when he noticed Naruto standing at the doorway. "The Child!" he bowed to Naruto "Kitsune child, I have waited for this day to finally meet you! I am honored!"

Naruto looked to Sasuke but he just shrugged. Naruto then slowly patted Itachi on the head. "(gasp!) The fox has blessed me with his touch! Oh, great destroyer! It would be an honor if you joined my group and became our leader. Wait, I think I have an extra cloak somewhere around here." Itachi then got up and started looking through the clothes that littered his floor while muttering things like: "Oh, it shall be a dark day when _the_ child joins us!"

Sasuke turned his head away and started to giggle uncontrollably. Itachi then held up a black cloak exactly like his own towards Naruto "It would be Akatsuki's greatest moment if you accept this." He then bowed again.

Naruto hesitantly took the cloak from Itachi "Um… I'll think about it, okay?"

"I understand if we are not evil enough for you great kitsune. But please consider the offer carefully." Itachi then bowed down till his back was completely parallel to the ground and shuffled back into his shadows.

"Your brother's weird, Sasuke." Naruto said, but Sasuke as still laughing his ass off. "And why did he keep calling me the `great kitsune'?"

"No, idea," Sasuke said as he calmed down a bit, "it must be those scars on your face though."

"Children come for dinner now!" Mikoto yelled

Sasuke slowly got up and said "Coming Okaa-san"

Naruto quickly followed Sasuke to the dining room and stared in awe at the food on the table. There were large trays of fish, vegetables and pork. But what really got his attention was the largest bowl of ramen he had ever seen. The bowl was about half the height of him and it almost filled three fourths of the table.

"I noticed that you're staring at the ramen, Naruto." Naruto snapped out of his daze and looked at Fugaku. "We Uchiha's are world famous for our secret ramen recipes. My wife won the ramen cook-off seven months ago with a unique blend of-"

"Dear, I don't think it would be wise if we just gave away our recipes now would it?" Mikoto said as she scowled at Naruto.

"I guess not… Anyway, Naruto, sit down, have a bowl and tell us what you think."

Naruto sat down as Sasuke passed Naruto a bowl or ramen. Slowly, Naruto took a spoonful of the soup and almost drank it when Itachi entered the room "ALOHA FAMILY!"

Naruto inhaled the soup in shock, fell to the floor and began choking. "Oh my god, Itachi, you killed him!" Sasuke screamed as he started punching Naruto in the back in hopes of saving him. "Live, Naruto! Cough it up and live, damn it!"

Itachi simply pushed Sasuke way and punched Naruto in the stomach (A/N This has a one in a million chance in working and I once saw it work but the end result was a bit `messy', so don't try at home) . This effectively winded him but then again it saved his life. Naruto then got up on his knees, "Thanks, Itachi, I thought- what the hell!?!?"

Naruto looked at Itachi but this wasn't the same Itachi who was in the dark room. Instead, this Itachi was wearing what looked like a Hawaiian t-shirt with khakis. He was wearing red tinted sunglasses on his forehead and his ninja headband was wrapped around his left arm. His face didn't look so dark and creepy anymore in fact, he looked like the happiest person on earth.

"Are you… Itachi or another brother?"

"Naruto I'm offended, you leave my room for five minutes and already you forget me. By the way, did you try mom's ramen yet?"

"He was about to, until you made him choke on it." Sasuke said.

Instantly, Itachi's face grew cold and a sad/mad/depressed look crossed his face. It even seemed that the room grew darker.

"Well, _sorry_ for trying to exist, Sasuke. Can't a guy just try to be himself before he dies? Oh, wait, it's pointless to be myself because in about sixty years I'll be dead! There'll be nothing left of me after I decompose so why try?!"

"Itachi, dear," Mikoto said "If you don't sit down right now you won't get any dinner and you're grounded."

Itachi changed back into his happy persona and quickly took a seat. Naruto then got back into his chair and a new bowl of ramen was placed before him.

"If there are no further interruptions, Naruto will now tell us what he thinks about Mikoto's ramen?" Fugaku said.

Naruto nodded, took another spoonful of the ramen (this time looking around incase of anymore scares) and softly slurped it.

There were no words to describe the taste! Naruto was in heaven, bouncing up and down on soft clouds of noodles. Large bowls of ramen of every flavor suddenly appeared. They had angel wings and small halos. They flew circles around Naruto until he became dizzy and fell on the floor. Suddenly the flying ramen bowls flew above Naruto and started to pour themselves into Naruto's mouth. He gulped down every last drop and more flying bowls appeared and they also let Naruto eat them.

"THIS IS THE BEST FOOD I'VE EVER HAD!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

_Back in the real world…_

"You think he's okay?" Sasuke asked looking down at Naruto who was placed on a couch.

"I'm sure he's fine… at least I hope so." Sasuke's dad said.

"That is so totally awesome! It's like he's in a ramen induced coma or something" Itachi said.

The floor of the once spotless house was now littered with countless bowls and small bits of noodles. Naruto was placed on a couch in the living room and for the past hour he was twitching uncontrollably, a small amount of drool dripped from his mouth.

"I don't think I've ever heard of anyone eat so much, he could give that Choji boy a run for his money." Mikoto said, and for once sounding impressed with Naruto.

"He's definitely going to sign up for the eating contest, first prize this year is two million yen." Itachi said, "Imagine how much more ramen this kid could buy!"

"RAMEN!"

The Uchiha family jumped as Naruto bolted upright with a manic look in his eyes.

"Relax, Naruto!" Sasuke said, "You've just been through a traumatic expel-"

"Traumatic? I'm not sure about that but I felt like I went to heaven and back." Naruto noticed Mikoto, fell off the couch and bowed at her feet. "Okaa-san, please, I must have more ramen! That one bowl wasn't enough! It was so good I just got to have more!"

"First of all, demon, don't call me your mother. Second, you ate a whole month's supply of ramen in under ten minutes, any more and you'll burst! And third, I ran out of supplies to make more ramen so I need to get some more ingredients."

Naruto then became sad that there was no more ramen but then realized his big mistake. He hadn't even been in the Uchiha's house for a day and already he ate most of their food and left the house in a complete mess.

"ARRG!" he screamed, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'll get this cleaned up right away!"

Before anyone could react, Naruto had picked up every single bowl and brought them to the kitchen. He cleaned them all in record time (all the while he had only broken two bowls) and stacked them nicely in piles on the table.

As Naruto ran back into the living room, Fugaku grabbed Naruto's shoulders and held him in place. "Naruto, don't worry about it. We'll clean up while Sasuke shows you your room."

"Are you sure, Otou-san? I mean, I can clean this up in no time and-"

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's arm and began dragging him away. "C'mon Naruto, if the adults say it's ok then it's ok, right?"

"I guess you're right."

"Good. Now, you have a choice of one of our three guest bedrooms." Sasuke then showed each room to Naruto and Naruto chose the one closest to Itachi's room.

Back in the living room

"He's a good kid that Naruto." Fugaku said.

"I still think that it's a bad idea to let that demon child in our house. He could turn on us at any minute and kill us all."

"Mikoto, if we left him out there for the villagers to deal with he eventually would turn on the village and kill someone. Because we are showing him compassion by letting him live with us, it would hopefully erase any anger he may hold against Konoha and therefore make him safe for other to be around. I'm not just doing this for him but for Konoha as well."

"You job has really effected you hasn't it?" Mikoto asked.

"Being captain of the police force has very little to do with this. I just want to make sure that everyone is happy and besides this isn't how Arish wanted Naruto to be treated."

"Don't talk about the Fourth like you knew him."

"I did know him. We were best friends for a while before the Kyuubi attack."

"Ok, so you knew him. Let's just drop this, it's not like we're adopting him or something."

"Well, now that you mention it…."

TBC What do you think? I MADE SASUKE RETARDED!!!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

Hi it's the writer again! I dont feel like writing a second chapter so i want somebody to write the story instead. So if you want to ... just private message me and tell me that you want to. The first person to private Message me gets the story! I will anounce the first person or the person i like teh bestie on the next update! PLEASE DONT KILL ME!!!!!!! BYE!!! =3


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